What Makes Assurity Different

From Fear-Driven Reactions to Repair-Centered Partnership.

The rupture came first. I asked for space, and my partner couldn’t tolerate it. A closed door felt like rejection. Avoiding eye contact felt like distance. Every boundary I set was experienced as a threat. The police were called, and that could have ended us. As a therapist, I know how quickly threat responses can hijack two people who still love each other. We stabilized before it escalated further, but the moment showed us that without a repair framework, even love can get crowded out by threat.

On a walk afterward, Great Spirit gave me a mantra: my partner loves me, my partner does not seek to hurt me, and if harm happens, we will work on healing it together. It reframed conflict from blame to shared repair, from fear to steady ground.

Two years prior to this incident in 2010, I encountered CDC research showing sexual minority women report intimate partner violence at rates at least comparable to, and sometimes higher than, heterosexual women. That raised a deeper question for me. How do people who deeply love each other end up in situations that look and feel unsafe when harm was never the intent?

That question shaped my career, the above experience made my research practical.  Two years later, I started my private practice, integrating trauma-informed individual work with survival-pattern-focused couples work, and for 12 years I’ve supported communities in doing repair differently.

Assurity is for couples who are all in, engaged, newly married, or long-term partners who want a repair-centered path. It’s for those who may have tried traditional counseling and need deeper integration. We help you build self-trust, name survival patterns, and meet each other with empathy and accountability.

If you’re committed to staying together and want a structured way to move from reactivity to repair, Assurity offers a practical, trauma-informed path forward.